I've heard it said that each of us are angels with just one wing ... and we can only fly by embracing one another ...
By now, we should be flapping on enough shared wing power to take us anywhere if we were to measure this journey by the people who have embraced us, embraced our waiting daughter, embraced the magic of adoption.
We have found that the majority of people who hear about our life journey step in with warm wishes, offers of help, excitement and genuine curiosity from a good place. Most of them. OK - we've had some of the curiosity factor coming from people who are just downright nosy and don't care a flip about any of it - they just want to poke themselves in where they don't belong so that they can spout their opinion, because it's obviously 'not something they'd ever consider'. We also have had people ask us "have you really thought about this?" Duh?? Who ARE you? (oftentimes this question comes from someone we have not met before). Do you think we have struggled with paper mountains, protocol quagmires and endless waiting WITHOUT a thought? This is not a process for the faint-hearted, let me assure you.
So - as most families who grow through adoption have learned - we don't pre-judge, but ask one simple question to figure out where a particular line of questioning is coming from. I practice my standard response to people: "why do you ask?" This is usually an opportunity for someone to stop and think - sometimes they realize that they are touched enough to perhaps consider this for themselves and we take the conversation to a new level, as they genuinely feel connected; sometimes they realize that they are being something less than an in-your-face pest and that allows them to leave the conversation gracefully, while they still can.
The Cox family, recently home with Ai Li's friend Jen, call the people who touched their journey in a positive light Joy Sowers. Isn't that beautiful? So, we have Joy Sowers and Wing Sharers.
Our Wing Sharers are endless. God, His Angels, each other here at home, our families, the big, burly guards and folks at the Department of Homeland Security who have been simply delightful to us when we've met, the Social Workers, the teachers and moms at school - the kids at school (they're so in to this), our friends, our church families, the amazing group of yahoo families who wait or share joys of their new children from Zhuhai (talk about sharing an incredible bond). We now know that 10 of Ai Li's friends will be scattered across the U.S. and we can keep our girls connected, just like we stay connected with our Xiangtan girls. How do you begin to thank everyone for sharing a wing?? I cannot find the words, but the feeling is very, very real.
In June 2007, we started telling people that we'd be travelling to China "next year".
Now we say "next week".
It's truly happening. Finally. We're so wired, so happy, so tired, so nervous, so hopeful, so excited, so thankful, so lucky, so incredibly honored.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
It's a done deal now!
I'm talking about our flights. We have an itinerary that's confirmed in writing.
Feb. 9th: Leave Raleigh at 9:00 a.m. to Detroit to Beijing, arriving the evening of the 10th
We'll visit the Great Wall and anything else along the way on the 11th. Can't imagine we'll be dealing with any crowds on this excursion!
Fly to Chengdu on the 12th. Visit the Panda reservation and anything else we hear of. Right now the city is iced-in and dealing with lots of problems as a result. The road has been badly damaged and it's unclear as to how we're pulling this one off. By rickshaw, foot or bicycle, we will do what we can (what a sight!), but I truly hope a taxi or a bus will do the trick.
We have decided not to take the train between Chengdu and Changsha due to the weather, but more due to the mountains. Well, I have decided this. I don't do small, windey roads well at all, and certainly not on the precipice of some mountain or cliffside track. All I would be able to think about is plunging down, down, down, unceremoniously wearing the contents from the 'facilities buckets' as we spiralled to the nether regions below. Too gross. I cannot do this. Travel agent strongly recommends against it as well. We'll listen to her. We'll fly.
Fly to Changsha on the 14th. Do some stuff here, spend a day in Xiangtan where Molly is from and anything else we can discover along the way. Molls, darling, we've wanted this for a while, haven't we? It'll be so special and so amazing to revisit the day we found each other and became attached through our hearts, always and forever. Weather-wise, they're having similar problems due to ravages from winter storms, but they're not as remote and jungle filled, so not as worried.
Fly to Guangzhou on the 17th
Forever Day is on the 18th - oh my stars, it's really happening - we open our arms to our new daughter - we've been waiting and waiting for just this moment. 'Scuse me - I've got a lump the size of a sock in my throat right now - can't even type it without choking up.
We leave Guangzhou on March 1st so there's lots of time for exploration and discovery. One side trip we're working on is the Li River in Guilin. Not sure if we'll fly in and out or take a train ride to show Ai Li how beautiful things are outside of the walls. She's seen some sights already, because Zhuhai is a coastal city and very beautiful I'm told. The link on this page to the sights can confirm that.
Are we crazy to be trying to stuff 6 weeks of travel experiences into this time frame? Of course we are, but we're going to have such fun doing it!!
Steve, sweetie - we get to have sunrises (Sue's joys) and sunsets (Steve's joys) on the other side of the World!!!!! I have such excited and happy jeebers again. I know you do too!
Feb. 9th: Leave Raleigh at 9:00 a.m. to Detroit to Beijing, arriving the evening of the 10th
We'll visit the Great Wall and anything else along the way on the 11th. Can't imagine we'll be dealing with any crowds on this excursion!
Fly to Chengdu on the 12th. Visit the Panda reservation and anything else we hear of. Right now the city is iced-in and dealing with lots of problems as a result. The road has been badly damaged and it's unclear as to how we're pulling this one off. By rickshaw, foot or bicycle, we will do what we can (what a sight!), but I truly hope a taxi or a bus will do the trick.
We have decided not to take the train between Chengdu and Changsha due to the weather, but more due to the mountains. Well, I have decided this. I don't do small, windey roads well at all, and certainly not on the precipice of some mountain or cliffside track. All I would be able to think about is plunging down, down, down, unceremoniously wearing the contents from the 'facilities buckets' as we spiralled to the nether regions below. Too gross. I cannot do this. Travel agent strongly recommends against it as well. We'll listen to her. We'll fly.
Fly to Changsha on the 14th. Do some stuff here, spend a day in Xiangtan where Molly is from and anything else we can discover along the way. Molls, darling, we've wanted this for a while, haven't we? It'll be so special and so amazing to revisit the day we found each other and became attached through our hearts, always and forever. Weather-wise, they're having similar problems due to ravages from winter storms, but they're not as remote and jungle filled, so not as worried.
Fly to Guangzhou on the 17th
Forever Day is on the 18th - oh my stars, it's really happening - we open our arms to our new daughter - we've been waiting and waiting for just this moment. 'Scuse me - I've got a lump the size of a sock in my throat right now - can't even type it without choking up.
We leave Guangzhou on March 1st so there's lots of time for exploration and discovery. One side trip we're working on is the Li River in Guilin. Not sure if we'll fly in and out or take a train ride to show Ai Li how beautiful things are outside of the walls. She's seen some sights already, because Zhuhai is a coastal city and very beautiful I'm told. The link on this page to the sights can confirm that.
Are we crazy to be trying to stuff 6 weeks of travel experiences into this time frame? Of course we are, but we're going to have such fun doing it!!
Steve, sweetie - we get to have sunrises (Sue's joys) and sunsets (Steve's joys) on the other side of the World!!!!! I have such excited and happy jeebers again. I know you do too!
This is SO cool
I tried to put the actual video right here ...................... but I'm not that good. Please click on this amazing link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N1j-MwDxRs to see something I am in awe of. Sure they're Chinese dancers, and I'm very partial to that which is Chinese, but what makes this more special - other than the obvious talent these beautiful women have, is that they are all deaf. This is just very, very wowish.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
It's all in a name
Emma. We've used this name for our child in several instances - like telling everyone we know.
We love the name Ai Li. That's who, to us, this twinkly, smiley kid is. We remind ourselves that statistically, when foreign adoptees are aware of their new surroundings, they want to belong. Especially the older kids. To them, an American name helps. Some switch back and forth - one minute not wanting to give up their identity, the other minute wanting to have a new identity that helps them to forget their past. So - it is a necessity for paperwork ahead of time in preparing passport and visa for her to have both names. We will be honoring her choice of what name she wants to be called and when, and we secretly hope she chooses to keep her beautiful Chinese name.
Emma is also a name we love. From the more recent pictures we have of her she is simply not an Emma to us. She is our sparkling child, full of a personality that shines through and Emma no longer feels right. I've been struggling with this. Steve's been in 'his box' giving it no thought at all because he thought the matter was settled and everyone had been told.
Out of left field, in church 2 Sundays ago a name came to me and we absolutely love it.
Ours is a church where we feel free to have urgent private discussions of this importance while Rod is preaching. He'd understand completely - we got a message in his church - how great is that?? Thanks Angels! Actually we think we need to rub his arm before we leave - every time we involve him in our adoption process and tell him our feelings, he has his pow-wow with his other preacher friends and voila! things start happening again. He's a good-luck charm of sorts, albeit a rather tall one, but he is "connected".
We are seated - he's talking and we are whispering - sort of. Ever tried a word with the letter 's' in it when you're not supposed to be saying anything at all? Comes out like a ginormous hiss, like it or not. So there we were, hissing and struggling with do we? don't we? let's; nawww - we've already told everyone. So what? Tell them again - it's our decision - no big wup - nothing's etched in stone yet.
Decision made. Two smiling faces get back into the Sunday sermon. Didn't we feel chuffed with ourselves!
This name that 'appeared' is Layne - or Laney. Not heard it before. Love it. Actually, we're working on the spelling right now. Love Laney, but it might be too cutsey later on? We try it on for size, picturing her as a successful adult woman on the phone .... "Yes, good morning, this is Layne Huber calling" - hey, not bad. It's a keeper.
Something similar happened to me when I was wrestling with a name for Molly, but I wasn't in church - I was in the shower. Both times I have looked the name up and both times it just felt right.
Molly = wished-for child (in the book I checked)
Layne = bright shining light (on the site I checked)
How could we not listen to these insights? It's a God thing. Bright shining light - seems perfect for such a sparkling personality.
We love the name Ai Li. That's who, to us, this twinkly, smiley kid is. We remind ourselves that statistically, when foreign adoptees are aware of their new surroundings, they want to belong. Especially the older kids. To them, an American name helps. Some switch back and forth - one minute not wanting to give up their identity, the other minute wanting to have a new identity that helps them to forget their past. So - it is a necessity for paperwork ahead of time in preparing passport and visa for her to have both names. We will be honoring her choice of what name she wants to be called and when, and we secretly hope she chooses to keep her beautiful Chinese name.
Emma is also a name we love. From the more recent pictures we have of her she is simply not an Emma to us. She is our sparkling child, full of a personality that shines through and Emma no longer feels right. I've been struggling with this. Steve's been in 'his box' giving it no thought at all because he thought the matter was settled and everyone had been told.
Out of left field, in church 2 Sundays ago a name came to me and we absolutely love it.
Ours is a church where we feel free to have urgent private discussions of this importance while Rod is preaching. He'd understand completely - we got a message in his church - how great is that?? Thanks Angels! Actually we think we need to rub his arm before we leave - every time we involve him in our adoption process and tell him our feelings, he has his pow-wow with his other preacher friends and voila! things start happening again. He's a good-luck charm of sorts, albeit a rather tall one, but he is "connected".
We are seated - he's talking and we are whispering - sort of. Ever tried a word with the letter 's' in it when you're not supposed to be saying anything at all? Comes out like a ginormous hiss, like it or not. So there we were, hissing and struggling with do we? don't we? let's; nawww - we've already told everyone. So what? Tell them again - it's our decision - no big wup - nothing's etched in stone yet.
Decision made. Two smiling faces get back into the Sunday sermon. Didn't we feel chuffed with ourselves!
This name that 'appeared' is Layne - or Laney. Not heard it before. Love it. Actually, we're working on the spelling right now. Love Laney, but it might be too cutsey later on? We try it on for size, picturing her as a successful adult woman on the phone .... "Yes, good morning, this is Layne Huber calling" - hey, not bad. It's a keeper.
Something similar happened to me when I was wrestling with a name for Molly, but I wasn't in church - I was in the shower. Both times I have looked the name up and both times it just felt right.
Molly = wished-for child (in the book I checked)
Layne = bright shining light (on the site I checked)
How could we not listen to these insights? It's a God thing. Bright shining light - seems perfect for such a sparkling personality.
Just Sparkling
Couldn't resist. This is who we smile back at on the computer. We just can't wait to see this precious little person we get to call 'our daughter'.
Monday, January 28, 2008
We have dates!
Well, after much confusion and frustrations with time differences between our home, our agency and China, we have an official confirmation from the U.S. Consulate of February 27th. This allowed us an official adoption date of February 18th. Whew. That's that. The arrows on the map to the left indicate our journey. More details to come when we have them - I have a trip to plan!
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