The Empty Box

Not much mention of my husband, Steve in these posts. How's he handling all of the stress, the angst of not knowing, the waiting that seems to never end .........? Well, it's like this: if you ask him he'll tell you that his wife worries so much about it all that he doesn't need to - I'm doing enough for both of us. So, that part's taken care of.

Let him see a new photo of his little waiting girl, or have him read or hear anything about her city and every ounce of Daddy comes right to the top. He can choke-up with just the thought of the day we meet her and he is very, very proud to be on this journey. Humbled too. That's my Steve. My special, special Steve.

He does worry though. And he worries about his daughter Melissa who is in Iraq serving the likes of you and me. She is an Apache Helicopter pilot - one of the brave ones out front in the gunships. He is on constant news alert from afar. His prayers are stretched thin, and we'd appreciate yours for her safety. For the safety of all soldiers. For peace.

Why isn't he coming unglued too I often wonder and to be perfectly honest it irritates me somewhat on occasion because I'm jealous that he can compartmentalize (is that a word?) the whole process. He is the level one, the voice of reason, the calmer-downer - a mutant if you will.

Someone on one of the adoption lists we're on sent this video to the group because he found it very funny. I think it explains the whole thing perfectly. Here it is:

http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/med/VideoWidget8.htm

So as my wires are zapping and zzzz-ing all over the place, he just opens his empty box and has a visit with it. I WANT A BOX TOO!!

Love Grows

We invite you to watch a little montage we put together.
Each photograph is a treasure to us and allows us a tiny glimpse into her life to date. Be sure to have your speakers on - the song is just lovely. The children in the chorus are all kids who have found love and families through adoption. In the song, there is reference to a package. Our daughter got her package last week. She now knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt that a family wants HER, specially HER, and that her almost 10 year wait for love is over. WooHoo!!!!!

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=4366f9d09a04e3f2300b19&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

When Molly was much younger, she learned a song at school. We'd sing it all the time. It goes like this:

Love grows one by one, two by two and four by four
Love grows round like a circle and comes back knocking on your front door

Before starting this process I wondered how on earth could I love another daughter as much as I love Molly? Would there enough room in my mom-heart? Better check with an expert. Someone who exudes the word love. Someone who, if I did just half of what she's done, would make me feel like I've done well as a parent. Someone who brings sunshine to those she meets. Someone who's a mother with a lot of children - good children. Someone who radiates that 'silver-lining' I sometimes have to force myself to see when things aren't going that well. She's so positive. If anyone would know, she would. This person has 7 children. This person is my beautiful mother. (Hi Mum. Made you cry here, didn't I? I love you.) Her answer was so simple, "Your heart stretches. You love each one just as intensely for the incredible human being that they are."

Yup. It's already started to happen. We all love our new daughter / sister already in a strange far away sort of way. I find myself singing the "Love Grows" song a lot lately. Molly no longer thinks I'm being corny - she's singing it too.

Travel Approval Just In

Hubers have their official travel approval - that's our TA in adoption lingo. Yay Hubers!! It left China on January 18th and got here on the 22nd.

Momma's gone into an information overload in the travel arena resulting in paralysis of all coherent thought processes. I cannot think. I cannot really even function. It's embarrassing. All you have to do is book the flight and press on - right?

Uh, no. Wrong. We don't have an official Consulate Appointment yet, which means that we don't know when we'll meet Ai Li, which means that we can't back-track events to get tickets. We wait. Again. Perhaps we'll know tomorrow, perhaps Monday. Perhaps I'll lose my mind. I need to have my thoughts wrapped around a schedule - that's who I am. Uncertainty of this kind creates all kinds of havoc in my brain and I sit in a tizzy trying to fix it, but it can't be fixed because it's not broken. It's just an unknown. Blechhhhh.

30 minutes and a cup of tea later life's actually going to be fine, I reckon. I have had a good working conversation with a travel agency who DO have a handle on these things (someone clonk me on the head for not just going straight to them in the first place, instead of trying to find out all sorts of options and deals on my own). They'll work on some options and let me know. How simple was that? By the way, the Cox family who have recently returned from China with adorable daughter Jen did tell me that it was easier to deal with an agency. I just had to busy myself doing something in case it replaced the ache - which it didn't. People - listen to those who have been there, done that. OK? Learn from this.

I've posted a link to some on-line photos of Zhuhai City from another site. Hope I haven't broken some internet protocol by doing this. Someone let me know, please, if I have.

Hurry Up and Wait

Our dossier was completed and sent to China on September 27th - that's our DTC - date to China. Then we waited We waited as it got translated. We waited as it was delivered to the correct department in China and we waited to be told of our official Log In Date - LID. We got a wonderful call in November to say that our Log In Date was October 31st. Yay!!

Now what? Well, wait of course! Wait for the coveted Letter of Acceptance - LOA. Wait, drive myself nuts wondering this, wondering that. Drive the family nuts too! Hello Thanksgiving! Goodbye Thanksgiving. Hello Christmas. Goodbye Christmas. Hello New Year. New Year - won't you please just bring us some news???

We've been remodeling a space upstairs to make room for another. Tired of painting and scrubbing and wallowing in dust, Molly and I head off for Target to get some new towels for the upstairs bathroom. Perhaps new towels will ease the pain of waiting. Doesn't the world know the ache in a mother's heart when a piece of it sits in another country, firmly attached to a child she's been loving without ever having met that child? It's like a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing, and until you find the piece, the puzzle's not finished and it's not whole.

January 3rd, 2008. Bought towels. Pain still there. Crud. Can't we just hear something?? Ringgggggggg Ringgggggggg. Cell phone's ringing - where is it? I know it's in my purse. Hello?
our darling Ky at AAI is on the other end to tell us that IT'S here!! We got our LOA. What a joyful call to get!! "This is so awesome Ky, what do we do now?"

Ky tells me, "We get you to sign the LOA and we return it to China and then we wait for Travel Approval - TA".

Did she just say 'wait'? Again?????